Terror Alerts:
Have you actually read this? I'll have to admit, it's been a while since I did. We are currently at an Elevated, or Yellow, or Bert level of Risk of Terror. This means we should be keeping an eye out and tackling suspicious people on the street because there is "A SIGNIFICANT RISK OF TERRORIST ATTACKS" everywhere in the nation right now. Think about that the next time you go to the grocery store. Remember: The lowest level of suspicion is really damn suspicious. You should never be less than fearful of brown people. That's the word from the government.