We also saw two bad horror movies this week.
Miner's Massacre, with nobody you've ever heard of, and
R.S.V.P., with Jason Mewes and Glenn Quinn.

The first, which I find out is actually called "Curse of the Forty-Niner," although that's not anywhere on the movie or the box, is a bad slasher flik. It's got senseless killing, an unbeatable villain, and bad acting all around. There are cheap relationships defined by stereotypes and characters ruled purely by their lusts. It's a bad horror movie.
I fibbed when I said it's got nobody you've ever heard of in it. It's got Karen Black, a character actress with more than 100 movies under her belt, and John Phillip Law, who is named John Law, which I find funnier than is really appropriate. Richard Lynch makes a great cameo as an old man who dies, which is always nice to see in a crappy movie. All in all, given what it is, it's as good as it can be. If you walk in expecting anything but a bad movie, you'll be disappointed. If you walk in expecting a strong story that drives actors with a strong character, you're missing the point. If you are looking for a bad horror movie with a creature from hell that's secretly a guy with a mask on, this is yer movie.
There's a type of movie bad guy that I never understood: He was so bad in life that he gets to stick around after he dies and do bad things. The assumption seems to be that one can sell ones soul for evil powers, which is fine if one knows where the souls-for-powers store is. I checked the yellow pages, and I can't find one.
These characters never need motivation or back story, really, 'cause they're just bad. If you're just an evil so-and-so, you don't need to have a reason, it seems. You just get to come back with a bad makeup job. Yay!

RSVP, also called Sticks & Stones (It's just a day for alternate titles), was a pretty good suspense-y, horror-y Rope remake kind of thing. We got it, to be honest, because it had Glenn Quinn (TV's Doyle, from the series Angel) (I've always wanted to say that. TV's somebody. It's such a funny convention) and Jason Mewes (whom many of us know better as Jay of Jay & Silent Bob).
It's got a pretty set upon which most of the action happens, and a series of deaths, alternately believable and not. The people who are killed via asphyxiation die slowly and with jerking motions. The two people who are shot with a rivet gun don't manage to yell, nor do the two killed with a cane. Eh.
The end of this movie sucked, but it sucked in a particular way. It ended absurdly, and it kind of had to. The whole thing was absurd. One of the characters is murdered because he is locked in a box (with air holes, mind) for several hours. Whereas that would be really particularly unpleasant, I like to think that a person could survive. I'm just sayin'.
From the beginning, you know that a)a particular character has murdered another, and b)there will be more deaths. This is as good as said in the opening shots, and very precisely said in the establishing shots a little later. Then it's stated again a couple of times, and then we see the murderer clumsily keep the guests from finding out about the first death. As the audience, you know exactly what's happening, and you can just sit back and watch the characters, simple as they may be, philosophize about death and dying, life and dying, and smoking, drinking and dying.
The movie was pretty unexceptional, a middle-of-the road movie with a script that tells a story and a series of murders that had to happen from the first moments of the film.

Miner Forty-Niner's Curse of the Massacre: 920 milinovas. This kind of movie rates down here, even though it's supposed to be bad. I rate them between 800 and 950mn on principle.
RSVP of Sticks & Stones: 750 milinovas. It's nice to see Doyle in a movie, as he only had a short career, but it would've been nicer to see him in a better movie.